Lust for Leather



Kenny Burns. -Lifestyle Specialist

 If you've been paying attention at all to trend within the past year, its very clear that Leather is the new Black. And I am HERE FOR IT. Tshirts. Jeans. Sweatshirts. Jackets. Leggings. Gloves. Hoodies. Pants. Kilts. In all of its sexy, dark variations of new design. I am so turned on by the whole movement.  All edgy, dangerous, evil, cocky, vampy. So Rock and Roll yet so Hip Hop. Everything that gives me an erection. TMI? Well I'm just sayin! So I tried to get in on the trend and went to a certain store in the mall featuring an offering of a tshirt with some leather accents and...BOO! Either I'm obese or the european cut of the shirt just didn't want me to be great. You know what though, Aaliyah said dust yourself off and try again.  That's why we have tailors and such.

Anyhow, I know its Spring and its getting warmer and leather may be a bit heavy in the heat, so I don't know how y'all want to figure that out. But get you some leather. Look at these GOOD examples.



Get Into These Pants!!



Because I wanna talk Sh*t.

• I think I'm tired of being Devil's Advocate or giving people the benefit of the doubt.  Like, although its genuine, its very exhausting when everyone else just thinks and agrees with the worst possible outcome. Or, why do I even care so much when no one else gives a shit? Yea, we might not be doing that anymore. People already call me mean though. Whatev...
• Kim Kardashian is pregnant. Why can't she be a regular pregnant woman and wear pretty maternity clothes with sandals and flats. She can wear her 5-6" heels at red carpet events or nice glam days, but why is she out everyday in Lanvin fresh off the runway dresses and shit. Sit down somewhere and be pregnant. Eat a cake. Get a foot rub.
• It is hilarious to me while watching people's comments on music and during American Idol and such to see deep critiques on the vocals. Like someone saying " she needs to sing in higher key" WTF? Are you a composer? Songwriter? Do you have ANY song credits? Seriously, who are you? Don't get me wrong, we all are able to not enjoy what we're hearing, but calm down.
• Homie B is back. Remind me to tell y'all that story.
• So a friend of mine told me the other day that the problem with me is that since I don't believe in " tops" and "bottoms" ( which actually is 80% true) , I can fuck with everybody.  Meaning, its very likely that I can be the ex of my Ex's ex. Y'all get that? Or...I can have "hooked up" with the old date of my new date. Doesn't that sound gross and messy. Thank God I'm saved. Which means it really isn't a problem.
• Shut Up. You don't know my life!
• I wonder if women know how powerful their pussy is. It runs the world. 
• Is that misogyny? Or feminism? Neither?
• It was Christmas Eve/Christmas 1998. I went on a date with this guy I'd been seeing. He took me to the movies or to dinner or something. Somehow, we ended up at his house. ( maybe we originally went to his house with dinner). Because it was Christmas Eve, I'd anticipated waking up at home with Mommy to exchange gifts. Anyways, we fooled around, he sucked on my neck like a maniac and performed analingus. We rolled around and when he was done, I thought he'd take me home. No, his ass went to sleep. Womp. Although, I slapped him several times to wake up, I didn't get home until the next day. Mommy was disappointed as she was alone. I was upset having had done that to her PLUS having ridiculous passion marks on my neck ( and having to deal with those kinds of remarks/questions all day). I was so completely over dude and he had no clue what the issue was. Needless to say, we didn't last long after that. He was a liar amongst some other things... #RandomDatingStory
• I hate Interviews. Resumes. Interview Etiquette.
• People that play victim when they're the problem grind my gears. Ain't nobody do nothin to you. You're crazy as fuck.
• Ever been sexual with someone that talked all kinds of trash but now you're laughing silently to yourself because their response is completely opposite from the shit talkin. They're shuddering...gasping for air...looking crazy. Oh.
• We know that there are men who are " DL " , married and sleep with men on the side but how many men do you think there are who are married and want to sleep with men but have never acted on it? These men who will never act on it because of the fact that they honor and respect their marriage and their wives. I ask this because I know of a guy that said he might have experimented with guys but it had never crossed his mind. However now that he is married, he wouldn't do that. Shrug...
• Have you seen Tyler Perry's " Temptation" ? Sigh...oh Tyler... Watch This.
• I found this on my phone. I don't remember what the inspiration was exactly... :
  
  
  Before meeting Shawn, Devin had just about given up on the hope of finding someone to be with.  He'd convinced himself that since he was afforded riches and a surplus of wealth and material possessions, that love or even" like" was the sacrifice he had to pay. He told himself that his son, Aiden was the unconditional love he requested and he wouldn't need or look for anything else. Alas, God wouldn't give him everything. Although loneliness came frequently and the desire to be touched strangled him at random moments, he felt that if it was for him, it would come. Then came Shawn. The term " too good to be true" ran a loop in his head as he stood looking in the man's eyes. Shawn spoke " Babe...I..."  Babe...I... Devin remembered the first time he called him babe and how his insides danced, shook , and spun in response. However, this didn't feel the same. Something was wrong. He couldn't do this right now. A tear approached his eyelid and he hung his head. No. No no no no no. He wouldn't do this right now. He felt like something had come in and swallowed the oxygen in the room. He needed air.  He walked into his closet and pulled on some shorts and a tshirt. He slipped into some sneakers. He looked at Shawn again, grabbed his keys and walked out. As he made it outside he sent a text to Shawn " Have your fuckin story straight by the time I get back."   Idk...

Something's Coming...

I've always wanted this blog to include every facet of my life and the things in it that I enjoy.  I realize that my personal qualms, stories, adventures, and ramblings have overshadowed other things that I love. So, I'm going to begin to incorporate such. I've gotten great advice from friends and encouragement from some good people. It's been almost eight years since I began this blog and so it is time for some evolution if I do say so. Anyways, I say all this to say that I'll be finding my way through adding my love for fashion and design to these posts. ( I'm trying my hardest not to say "Passion for Fashion" ) Yet, I want to still have my ramblings, stories, and random moments. Yea so stay tuned as I feel through this. Should be fun.  Maybe I'll get a check! #sideeye

Because It All Comes Down to Sex





Tone Bell


• Or dick. Thick hard dick. But does it really? Why?
•  If you've watched the Whitney Cummings show " Whitney" , you've seen Tone Bell. He was also on Vh1's "Single Ladies" where he had a role as Omar's love interest playing a comedian. Cute.Sexy.That beard.
• I'm in my zone I'm feeling it. Stop blowing my buzz quit killing it. So buy another round, They tried to shut us down bout an hour ago... But we still in this... Bitch.
• I visited Charlotte, NC last weekend. I had a good time. I got my ratchet on, hence the above B.O.B. lyrics. Charlotte was very nice. Reminded me of home in that suburban, small city with sprinkles of luxury kinda way. I don't know if I could live there, I've gotten too used to Atlanta nightlife and the lay of the land.
• I don't like the term ratchet BTW.
• I also realized that we are spoiled in Atlanta with the outright boldness of our sexuality. We are so used to just being our gay selves here ( in any way that means to you, whether flamboyant or "masculine") that in other cities, its almost a shock. And a lot for those of us who live in Atlanta. We walk around with our bold sexuality and confidence then begin to wonder why we're getting side eyed and such. Slight #cultureshock. Those who have recently moved from Atlanta can relate.
• I was part of a conversation about sex in which someone said there is an art to sex. So beautifully put. I Agree Agree Agree. Some people need to understand that. No seriously. Sex should be an experience, a story to tell. not just something to do. At that point...ugh
•  I prayed to be given the opportunity to do nothing but write. I've gotten that opportunity and I've written nothing. Well...I haven't written what I meant to write. Becareful what you pray for.
• I deleted my Jackd profile again. How long did that last?



Tired of Fighting.

• No listen, I'm so tired of fighting with y'all on these social dating apps. Y'all want 1827615120 pics. Y'all wanna fuck. Y'all don't wanna fuck. Y'all want somebody that's at the gym 24/7 and drives a bmw and lives in Buckhead and wears Foamposite Nikes, Tank Tops, Hermes belts and lil jeans. Y'all wanna come over and cuddle immediately. ( Not go on a date!)  Y'all just have so many rules and demands and iCant. It's the Spirit of Too Much.
• Speaking of dating. Do you think that some of us are using too much " thinking" when it comes to something as simple as dating should be? I see some of us are reading books and studying and really trying to "learn" dating. I feel like that's too much. Notice I said feel. One of the most memorable scenes in Sex and The City to me was when Carrie and Miranda were in the park talking about her forgiving and working in her marriage with Steve. Miranda was talking about how she has alot of thinking to do about the situation. Carrie then says " Thinking? or Feeling?"  She said that it isn't logical, its emotional... I think we've navigated how to learn, how to study, how to read and research. But dating and loving somebody isn't academic. Do what you want with that.
• Also, I used to listen to the Micheal Baisden Show / Podcast and one of the clips that was often promo'd was of a woman talking about how women in the workplace have learned the skills of organizing, filing, scheduling etc. and are now bringing those skills to their relationships. Now you're at home trying to organize and file your man. We do that same shit.
• How long ago was the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation? Four years ago? Why does Chris Brown still have to be dragged through the dirt and berated every time he says anything. Jada Pinkett talked about the bullying people do to young celebrities.  I understand that he's more or less out of line and outta control many times however, is it ok that he gets figuratively beaten up constantly for something that happened four years ago? People post these little anecdotes about not living in the past on Facebook and Instagram and such. Does that only apply to who/what you want it to apply to?
• But then again, there's still people mad at Justin Timberlake for Janet Jackson's tittie incident...
• Us older gays really need to embrace the younger generation ( not fuck ) and help them hold on, stand up, stay afloat. No matter how much they shun us or give us the evil eye. More on this later...

Tops and Bottom...Again.

I honestly and truly from the bottom of my shaven...wait...


This is the thing. I feel like one of the main issues we face in this community. This brown, drk brown, biscuit colored, burnt sienna, vanilla wafer community of  men that enjoy various naked activities with other men, is this ideal of tops and bottoms. *groans and moans* Do we really have to talk about this?

Yes. Lets talk.

I feel like if we got rid of the construct of Tops and Bottoms , we may be able to evolve. I say this because I really feel like its a hindrance in many of our dating situations. How many times have you met somebody that was potentially an amazing partner for you but [you decided] it wouldn't work because they revealed they were a "bottom" which is the same box in which you mark an X?  By the way it seems as though this is only a problem for "bottoms".  Somehow two " Tops " together can make things work. Or so it seems. Ain't that somethin?  I digress...

Anyhow, I don't understand why there is such an emphasis put on whether someone enjoys being penetrated or penetrating. I have never understood that. Never. Never ever. Ever. Many of you know about my own personal uh " issues " with penetrating and we don't need to go into that. Also, I'm tired of y'all making me feel like I'm a freak ( and not the celebrated kind)  for not wanting to get fucked or do some fucking. Plus, we don't need to go into the hetero style chauvinist roles that some of y'all place on these preferences either. Or do we? It's the same ole bullshit song right?

You know what, I'm not even in the mood to talk about this anymore.   I've spoken about this subject too much. I wrote THIS years ago.  I've written other little things. I think I'm just tired of " Are you a top or bottom? " being a factor, an issue, or a section of the pre screening of potential husbands.  It just always seems to be a topic of discussion and I don't get it.  I want to say again that I don't understand how a GAY ( gasp!) man that likes other GAY men would not want to enjoy everything about that man. I'm talking about his ding a ling, his booty , his thighs , his chest, his mouth, his knees, his ankles, his pelvic bone , the nape of his neck, behind his ear, oooo that space in the very inner part of the thigh... You get the point. And that's nowhere NEAR penetration but... IJS. We can talk about those other things later in a post I'm going to title " Who Holds the Key: Unlock this Back Door." And " Make Love to Me, but You Can't Put it In." Maybe this is all just some repressed sexual issue that I have. Iyanla...?

P.S. I can't wait to have a boyfriend so I won't have to answer " Are you top, bottom, vers? " ANYMORE. I hope.

Because Its Needed

• My Jack'd profile states that I'm full of shit.  What I mean by that is that I have been dating in this community for about fifteen years or so. I've been around the block more or less so I know how to play this "game".  I have a good enough discernment to know how something will end up. I know what to say to affect the possible outcomes. I also know what not to say to affect those outcomes.  So I say I'm full of shit because 'I'm familiar with the strategy of things and I sometimes use that to my advantage. Now, don't get me wrong, everything doesn't always happen in such ways,there's always an exception. However, that's my explanation for being " full of shit" In my own words.
• I love this photo. The colors.
• I'm really wondering if the first person I "dated" set me up for the rest of my fool of the crazy dating life I'ved had. I've told you about him before. I was sixteen...he was 22...he had a boyfriend...blah blah hair toss. Yeah that...
• Do you have a name for your ding a ling? Is that only a straight guy thing? What is the name?
• If we can't evolve passed " Are you a top or a bottom?" Then how do you expect... Nevermind.
• I bought a new sex toy. I dunno if I like it yet.
• I watched an old episode of Iyanla: Fix My Life the other day. The one with The Six Brown Chicks or whatever. That was amazing!! Can she do that for the community? Like all of us gather in the Superdome and she just heal? I've said this before but I'm serious.
• Oh you don't think you need healing? Chile...

• I also watched on Super Soul Sunday , Oprah's conversation with Nate Berkus. One segment he mentioned how when you're a kid that knows they are gay, you develop a skill set that makes you dishonest. I'd never thought about things this way, but how accurate.  To be a child that knows they're gay, in his era and in mine meant to lie about yourself all the time. I can remember going to school and slouching in my chair so as to look like the other boys which is a physical lie as I had great posture. That is very tiny example of a broader aspect of what he's saying but I think you get it. Perhaps what we call DL men and their expansive deception is what happens as the dishonesty grows.
• Maybe this is why once "we" come out, we well alot of us are just completely honest ALL THE TIME. Sometimes brutally. However, there's something different going on with this new generation of "us". Or I've just become old. I digress...
• Ask me a question. I'll be honest. HERE
• Did yall see Chris Brown at The Grammys? I love him. I don't care I don't care I don't care...
• I did THIS. I sincerely appreciate the opportunity.  
• Speaking of, I'm soon about to be in the process ( maybe) of expanding this [ blog ] into a website that will include other sections of my interests and creative passions. I must first figure out how I'd like to do this.
• Becareful what you pray for or be ready to receive when HE gives you exactly what you've been asking for.
• I think we have an automatic reaction of running from our passions and desires when we don't or can't see how they will be fruitful for us.
• I was in the bookstore last week in the children's section and I became overcome with the feeling that I can not wait to be a father.  I think I'd be a great father. Not now, lol. but once I get my life together.
• Nothing annoys me more than people that can't get the joke. Especially if I feel like  I am very clear in my wit and humor. If your personality has not evolved enough to accept, receive and exchange wit, then you need to find a clue. And a seat.
• Some people are so smart they're stupid.

Because we're about a month into 2013

• You ever feel like you've lost your Mojo? Like...you're just not your usual star? How do you get that back? Sometimes a haircut does it. Sometimes a new pair of shoes and maybe some new draws. But if none of that works, then what? They say sex is a cure for many things including depression. Well that's not exactly what they say. Anyways, would sex work? Maybe...
• Barack Obama's Presidential Inauguration for his second term was last week. It was absolutely beautiful. I can see that we're still enormously proud to have elected this man. Well some of us...
• Oh and I told y'all Michelle was gonna wear Jason Wu again.
• You know how people say if you want something different, you have to do something different? What exactly should you do? What if you do many things differently, but nothing happens? Dust yourself off and try again? No Aaliyah.
• I haven't sexted in awhile.
• I have a crush on a porn "star". I saw him at a club recently, he was cool. He didn't perform though. Boo. I told him I wasn't a fan anymore. Ha. I lied...
• Ever since my early teens, it has been natural for me to stay up very late. Being a night owl really just inspires me. I feel like the most brilliant pieces of my mind come together at night. Maybe it's the "still" of it, I don't know. I've just never understood the urge to wake up early unless necessary. I guess some people are motivated by a new day as I am during the absence of it.
• Myvidster has been slacking lately. Maybe it's just me.
• " I don't know about you Miss Kitty, but I feel...so much yummier."
• I purchased a copy of Eat Pray Love the movie the other day. Ive seen it before but this movie just provokes all kinds of feelings.  That scene when she knelt by the bed and prayed for something to happen just wowed me. It just spoke to how we all just sometimes need answers to guide us on our journey. I know this was based of the book of real events and how the author probably was thought of as having it together. But nevertheless, things are not always what they seem.
• Did that make any sense? I've have a little bit to sip on.
• I've recently reconnected with some very dear friends that came to Atlanta to visit.  Both visits were amazing.  These were people I hadn't seen since moving to Atlanta.  They both shared some great love and conversation with me. Separately but equally as important and genuine. I really thank them both as I needed it.
• Why haven't they made a live action adaptation of Jem and The Holograms yet? I mean  The Avengers, Amazing Spiderman, revamps of Xmen and Superman. I wanna see something kinda new.  Especially since we've come into this age of  reliving 80s and early 90s in fashion and such. The colored hair and all. I'm just excited about it already. Who do I need to call to get this made? Blake Lively should star as Jem and Jericca. Nicki Minaj could be somebody. Taylor Swift... man... *sucks teeth
• Meagan Good's husband had been celibate for ten years before they got married.  Lord, I bet Meagan aint walk right for weeks after that wedding night...and days... Whew!!
• I need to lose 35lbs. by Friday.
• Do you think Diddy's heart still jumps when he sees Jennifer Lopez out somewhere?  I mean we can completely move on from an ex and be happy in a new relationship, but if that person meant anything to you, there has to be some little tiny butterfly wing that still flutters. Diddy has to see Jenn on a carpet or across the room sometimes and just be like " Fuck. Look at her." I'm sayin, we know he's been hittin Cassie for awhile but Cassie's no Jenny Lo. #IJS
• I mean I've been seeing this one person out lately that I had something with and I'm just so tempted at the end of the night to send that text. But GOD.
• I used to think it was so cliche when people would say their husband or wife was their best friend. Now however, I get it. And I want that. We don't have to be married though.
• Hawaii seems to be the new hot Vacay spot. Wanna go?

Because I Just got Out the Shower

• I wanted to originally call this Because Dating Sux. #shrugs
• He want that Hot Sugar. He wanna piece of somethin sweet all night. He want that good to the last drop like mine. He want that sugar. He want that sugar. He want that sugar..that sugar.
• Speaking of Tamar, isn't it awesome to see her realize her dream? I feel like we had front row seats watching how much she wanted to do this.  Wendy said she almost began to tear during a certain point of the song" Love and War" ( while she sang on the show). That was her connecting to Tamar and her dream. Atleast to me.
• We were showering together. Both of us beautiful young men with short dark hair. He stooped down in front of me to give me oral pleasure. I watched the water run over his head and all I thought about was the wave pattern that it made in his hair. #randommemories
• That Publix cheesecake with strawberries though.
• I am from Connecticut.
• While on these dating/hookup/social networking phone apps, you see many guys with hot bodies and good looks looking for other guys with hot bodies and good looks. Why then, don't they find each other? It seems simple enough to me. What exactly are they looking for ? Why the missed connections?
• Can a kiss express and/or top off the feelings you may or may not have for someone? Is it in his kiss? No Cher...
• I don't know how I feel about Beyonce's face being on Pepsi cans. Kinda creepy.
• I loved how he grabbed and held on to me while we did that the other day. I think we stepped that thang up a notch.
• What do I have to do to become Shonda Rhimes?  Or...well you know what I mean.
• I plot out what I want to have happen sexually with someone beforehand. From the way I'd like them to move, hold their body, to the way I want them to respond to what I'm doing to them. Y'all do that too?
• Remember when I said there was someone I decided I wanted as a boyfriend and it didn't work out?  I have now realized that I put too many expectations on him and what I wanted to happen. I expected to him to fall into the plan of me having a boyfriend. Of course when it didn't happen, I was disappointed and maybe even hurt. However, he did nothing wrong.  These expectations I had were what did me wrong. We do this to ourselves ALL the time.  Meet somebody, like em and begin expecting all kinds of shit.  We expect " good morning" texts. We expect " good night" texts. We expect them to not bother us when we are busy but be completely free when we're ready. We expect them to want to do the things we've said we would whenever we started dating someone. The reality is however, they may not want any of that. They may not like texting. They may not wanna go on romantic cabin trips with other couples. They may not wanna hold hands with you at the movies. Those are YOUR expectations. "Expectation is the root of all heartache." - William Shakespeare

• See what I did there?
• Joe Budden's penis photo "leaked" the other day. People went in about it being small. He said it'd been altered. I would still have some. #judgeme
• You ever meet someone and know immediately what type of movements they'll make, how they'll smile or grin at something, what their mannerisms will look like, all before it all happens? No? Maybe I'm too observant of people.
• I went two dates like almost two weeks ago. Well one date and a meet and chill. No sparks...meh.
• Did I  tell y'all I was full of shit? Because I am.
• Tyson Beckford "liked" some of my photos on Instagram the other day. None of those with me in them though. #shrug
• I still want him sometimes, even if he does wear white socks.